Valentine's Gambit
by Warmill
Summary: Faye gets ahold of a strange device that could make her some money or get her killed. She has to make a decision and gets some good advice from someone you'd least expect.


The scent of a casino can make one nauseous after a few hours at the roulette wheels and poker tables. The cigarette and cigar smoke, along with the smell of spilt whiskey and stale beer, only subtracted from the ambience.

However, this casino still didn't lack for gamblers, who always were convinced that their fortune lie just around the corner with the next bet

and the roulette table had a half dozen people still placing those bets.

Suddenly, Lady Luck walked up. She was wearing a long, black, tight-fitting evening dress, that was cut high above the knees and down low in the front. She smoked a cigarette, on the tip of a long slender holder, that gave her an extra air of class. Her dark, neatly styled purple hair, cascaded down to just gently brush her elegantly bare shoulders and framed a pretty face that featured large green eyes and a pixie like turned up nose.

She sat down slowly at the table and placed a handful of chips in front of her, then quickly placed four of those chips down for the bet. The dealer spun the wheel and lady luck won.

She repeated her routine three more times and won twice.

"Looks like you've played this game before," a sleazy looking guy, sitting next to her, said. He had already won the last dozen spins.

"Oh, I've played many games before," she coyly replied, "and seeing the number of chips you have in front of you right now, I'd say you've played this game a time or two yourself."

"Yes, I have," he smarthly replied, "maybe you showing up will bring me more good fortune."

"Maybe," she replied, "if you're real lucky and play it just right!"

She place another bet and won once again.

"Wow!" sleazy guy said, "you've got your mojo working tonight!"

"That's not all I've got working," she breathily replied.

After a few more plays, with both of them winning bet by bet, Sleazy became bored.

"What say you and I go get us a drink at the bar," he said.

"I say why not?" she flirtatiously replied.

They collected their chips and headed to the bar, where he bought her a gargle blaster.

"What's your name, Lady luck?" he asked, as she chugged down the blaster.

"Valentine," she softly replied, "Faye Valentine."

"Pleased to meet you, Faye Valentine," he said "I think this is going to be a most profitable night for both of us."

"Well," Faye replied, "I know its definitely going to be a profitable night for me!"

Suddenly, Faye took her one hand and pulled a gun from deep below the top of her dress and with the other hand, a pair of cuffs from inside the hem of her skirt.

"Well, I like the cuffs but the gun I could do without!" Sleazy reacted, as Faye slapped the cuffs tightly on his wrists.

"Heinous Callaway!" Faye stated, "I'm taking you into custody per Warrant 415!"

Faye escorted Heinous outside the gaming rooms, to a side hallway.

"Oh, we gonna make out first, Faye Valentine?" he sleazily stated.

"Puhlleeeasse!" Faye replied, "don't make me sick! I haven't eaten yet. But I do want to know one thing."

"And what's that, baby doll!" he replied, with a crooked smile.

"Well, the Casino put out the bounty to catch you because you're a notorious cheat!" Faye stated, "you've always cheated, mainly at card games like poker and black jack, in which you count the cards and sideslip the chips, but you've never worked the wheels before. How are you cheating at roulette?"

"Well, maybe if you uncuff me," he teasingly replied, "we could get a room and put to better use those handcuffs of yours and then maybe I'll tell you!"

"Oh, just forget it, sleaze ball!" Faye replied, rolling her eyes.

The police soon showed and Faye handed him over, collecting a 15,000 Woulan reward, credited to her account.

As Heinous was escorted away, Faye noted he may have been a good cheat but he was no pickpocket, or he would have noticed she had used some sleight of hand, as she was cuffing him. Faye had pocketed some type of small rectangular electronic device she noticed he had been using under the roulette table.

She figured this was what he was using to cheat and she wanted to know what exactly it was and how it worked. She headed back to the BeBop, to ask the one person who would know or could find out.

As Faye entered the BeBop's lounging area, she noticed there were no signs of Spike or Jet.

'Probably out goofing off, but pretending to work,' Faye figured.

However, she heard the sounds of snoring permeate the air.

Ein was sound asleep along side his food bowl. Edward was passed out on the stairs.

"EDWARD!" Faye shouted, as the little red-head suddenly jarred awake, literally levitated three feet off the ground, her eyes opened wider than normal.

"What! What! Whhhhaaaattttt!" Edward groggily replied.

Ein kept sleeping.

"I want you to tell me what this is," Faye asked, handing her the small device.

"Oh, a gift for Edward?" Edward cheerily asked.

"No! No gift!" Faye sternly answered, "just tell me what you think it is."

"Oh," Edward replied, disappointed, "no gift for Ed?"

"No, no gift for Ed!" Faye replied, irritatingly.

"Okey-dokey!" Edward giggled, "let me seeee! What this device could beeeee!"

Edward danced around on one foot, while holding the device close to her left eye, in some strange Edwardian way to try to examine it.

"Me thinks!" Edward excitedly said.

"You thinks, what?" Faye replied in anticipation.

"Me thinks, I should check…. on the net!" she said, sitting quickly down in front of her computer.

"Let Ed see…what Faye-Faye won't give to me!" she mumbled, as her fingers danced across the keyboard.

"THERE! THERE! FAYE-FAYE!" Edward suddenly shouted, pointing at the computer screen.

Ein woke up, raised his head, then went back to sleep.

Faye stepped up to gaze at the screen. The display showed a 3D image of the device now in Edward's hands.

"It's a mini-micro-matter-mover!" Edward said.

"What's a mini-min-micro-mmatter? Oh, hell," Faye said in frustration, "try saying that three times fast!"

"Mini-micro-matter-mover! Mini-micro-matter-mover! Mini-micro-matter- mover!" Edward quickly replied, with a smug look on her face.

"Okay, smart ass!" Faye replied, "what exactly does it do?"

"It creates a teeny teeny, tiny tiny, bit of invisible dark matter to move small inanimate objects!" Edward answered.

Huh?" Faye replied.

"A demonstration if you please, maestro!" Edward announced, as she took the device and pointed it at an empty carton of noodles discarded on the lounge table. Edward pushed a slide switch along the device's side and the noodle carton moved a quarter of an inch.

"So that is what it does-does!" Edward smiled.

"Ahh, I get it now," Faye smiled back, "ol' sleazy Heinous used this to move the roulette ball just enough to assure it landed on the number he had bet on! Clever device."

"And there is a reward for its return!" Edward said, looking at the computer screen.

"Who, what, and how much?" Faye asked, "and I don't care what order you answer!"

"Well well, then," Edward replied, "the who are the military guy-guys, the what is this device, and how much is 100 million Woulan smackers!"

"100 million?" Faye excitedly said, "sign me up! Who do I see about collecting the reward?"

"Let me see," Edward mumbled, her fingers gliding across the keyboard, "its all top top hush hush secret secret. Nobody supposed to know it even exists!"

"Then how did some punk like Heinous get this?" Faye wondered out loud.

"Ed don't know," Edward replied, "but Ed has a suggestion."

"Oh, and what's that, Edward?" Faye asked, skeptically.

"Edward thinks Faye-Faye should forget forget!" Edward said, seriously.

"Forget?" Faye asked, "why?"

"Cause this is bad bad karma karma chameleon," Edward explained, "if it is supposed to be so secret secret then no one needs to know. If no one needs to know, then by turning it in, you know, but you don't need to know, so you shouldn't know and those guy guys will see to it that you will never know by seeing to it that Faye-Faye never ever exists ever again!"

"Edward!" Faye answered, "I don't know how you did it but what you just said I understood and, God help me, it made sense!"

"Yea! Yea! For Edward!" Edward cried out in joy, "I made seennsseee!"

"Damn! That reward is such a temptation," Faye said, "but I guess the best thing to do is dump that thing into the Ganymede river!"

"TAKE IT TO THE RIVER!" Edward sang, way way off key.

"I'm going to but…." Faye got that far away look on her face.

"Oh, oh!" Edward said, "Faye-Faye is thinking! That could be dangerous!"

"Well," Faye finally said, "I just happen to know a casino that happens to be located right next to a river. I'll take it over there and dump it!"

"And what's the catch-catch?" Edward asked.

"Oh, no catch," Faye smiled, mischievously, "just before I throw it into the river, I just might test it out at that roulette wheel one last time! Wanna go with me?"

"I dunno!" Edward replied nervously.

"If I win," Faye said, "I'll buy the ice cream!"

"Ice cream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!" Edward happily cried out.

Ein suddenly jumped up, barked "Woof!" then joined Edward and Faye, as they all headed out the door.


End file.
